Yes, there are many theories to explain human behaviour and history – but which are the helpful ones? The best answers are leading to healing. And often they include the one who answers as a part of the answer – by growing trust.
Healing needs diagnosis and medicine. So we need to understand the circle of hate and revenge. Not as an excuse. (In Germany we had a president of parliament who, in a speech, tried to understand the guilt of the most terrible years of our past. He was accused of excusing the unexcusable and had to resign.) Understanding helps not to repeat former mistakes and injuries.
A good help I found was written by Olga Botcharova: a report of her work on the Balkans after the war with members of different ethnics and religions. In her article "Implementation of Track Two Diplomacy" (Joe Montville) she described seven steps of the chain of hate and seven steps toward reconciliation.
The full article by Olga Botcharova can be found by:
www.humiliationstudies.org/documents/BotcharovaTrackTwoDiplomacyChapter.pdf
My conclusions:
MRA/IofC has shown a special potential to create hope and encourage steps toward reconciliation by
sharing experiences of change. We also need to understand the steps towards hate/revenge and toward
hope/forgiveness/peace. Pain is inevitable, but accepting suffering in some ways may transcend pain.
The values of our standards create special rooms of healing and growth:
1. Rooms for HONEST feelings help to express and leave behind fears, weakness, shame, anger…
2. LOVE creates an atmosphere of human warmth, understanding and acceptance. Here tears and grieving
develop a potential of healing.
3. PURIFICATION: Injured persons overcome shame and pain by accepting it as a bitter medicine for
themselves and against causing new pain again and again. Otherwise they may become brutalized and
inhuman
4. UNSELFISHNESS is not an end in itself, it means to be ready to accept a new challenge and requires
experiences of healing .
MY QUESTIONS
Anger is a very natural spontaneous reaction on aggression and injury. It contains an energy mostly used
in a negative, destructive way. How can this energy be used constructively? I am very interested to read
about experiences which may help to identify quick and slow steps on constructive ways.
Thomas Buehler, 26 March 2008